Appalachian Trail Ramblings
1. An all you can eat buffet in the next town is the ultimate motivation for a thru-hiker.
2. The size of your beard on the AT is directly related to your respectability.
3. People ask – what do you think about while you are hiking…food, food, and more food.
4. It’s weird that I have lost 30 lbs, but I have the appetite of a pregnant elephant.
5. If I pass you on the trail and you smell like juniper berry or cucumber melon, then don’t talk to me, because I have already judged you as a yuppie.
6. If you are going to route the trail over the chest-deep mud, please make sure you build a bridge over it. Pulling group members out of the mud is hard work.
7. People get so offended when they see you hitch hiking…
8. The looks on people’s faces in town are priceless when they get close enough to smell you.
9. No, showering before I go to the buffet does not have priority when the buffet closes in an hour.
10. Yes, I did eat a Cheerio that I found on the trail…in fact I did it three times.
11. Hitch hiking is an art form.
12. Most of the time the AT is not a trail but is a life-size game of connect the dots.
13. Rain sucks!
14. It’s sad when I can climb down a steep mountain in the rain but I can’t walk down four steps without busting my butt.
15. Slugs move faster than they let on.
16. The best way to ford a river is to strip down to your underwear and just walk across.
17. It’s very discouraging when you wake up and see the mosquitoes waiting for you to climb out of your bug net so they can have their breakfast.
18. Spooning in the back of a truck is perfectly acceptable when everyone in the party is cold.
19. Hotel managers fear thru-hikers.
20. You go into a yuppie coma when you walk into your first Walmart after a month of hiking.
21. You know you smell bad when you wake yourself up in the middle of the night because of how bad you stink.
22. If you sound like a cross between a chainsaw and a bulldozer when you sleep, you should not sleep in the shelter.
23. Sometimes all you get at hostels to wear while your clothes are washing is women’s shorts or pants and a scrub top…rock them anyways.
24. Taking a nap in the middle of the trail is perfectly acceptable.
25. Painting white blazes on boulders does not mean that you have built a trail. It means you are a cruel person who doesn’t know the concept of going around something.
26. It’s messed up when the drive to the start of the trail is 1300 miles but the walk back is 2185.
27. You don’t get credit for all the miles you hike.
28. I now have a greater appreciation for hitch hikers.
29. I have been mistaken numerous times for a homeless person.
30. No pictures or words could describe what truly happens while hiking the Appalachian Trail.